where to START...

Well, here I am at the beginning of what I anticipate to be one heck of a journey in my life...from pain ol' me to Bikini Competitor.

Now, I know this may seem like completely RANDOM goal, but hear me out...

Unfortunately, I was NOT blessed with the coveted metabolism of my little sister, who could eat every cupcake and cheeseburger that her little heart desired and not gain a fraction of a pound. Oh no, I grew up with the dreaded "thicky-thick" curse (you all know what I'm talking about)--just the SIGHT of a french fry would instantaneously add unsightly rolls along my waistline--yeah...not cute.

Now, just to clear things up, I didn't have an dangerously negative body image by any means. To be quite honest, I didn't really scrutinize my weight that often, and looking back, I'm sure that's what led to me putting on so much weight in college and ballooning up to my heaviest after graduation. I resigned myself to the belief that I just wasn't "built" that way, that I was always going to be a heavier girl. I "gracefully" accepted that. My justification? I was never obese, there were always girls who were bigger than me and I guess I took comfort in that fact...Sad, but true. I look back now at all the things I used to eat on a daily basis and it's no wonder I was as heavy as I was. Fast food for almost every meal, snacking constantly...and of course, that's the "norm" in college so it never dawned on me that I was making horribly unhealthy choices.

My weight fluctuated over the course of 6 years (college + post-grad) as I went through my "healthy" phases. I worked at Jenny Craig for a whopping 6 months and dropped down to about 135-140 for that length of time. For what it's worth, it did work for me while I was in college because it gave me "healthier" alternative for my meals and snacks, and gave me some sort of structure for my workouts, but it was nearly impossible to truly integrate into my lifestyle long-term without the ease of buying those pre-portioned entrees. I never did quite learn how to do it on my own and as soon as I got off the food, I ballooned right back up and stayed that way for a couple years. I was content that way until a boss of mine decided to issue a challenge to me and my co-worker and bff--first to lose 25 lbs. would win a gift certificate to the restaurant of her choice. The buddy system worked wonders for me. We'd eat our Lean Cuisines together at lunch, challenge each other not to snack during slow days at the office and share our gym routines on a daily basis. Accountability got me results. I'd managed to shed 35-40 lbs. and keep it off by just making simple changes--cardio 5-6 days a week, trading my Jack in the Box for Lean Cuisines at lunch, nothing too crazy.

But one day, the "progress" came to a screeching halt. I sentenced myself to months upon months of death-by-cardio, said NO to all the "bad-for-you," fried, breaded, sugary, rich, delicious foods and the scale refused to budge. I began to wonder if I would ever be able to have the body I wanted my whole life. I had this deep-seeded, desperate desire to finally break through my "plateau" and lose the last 10-15 pounds that I just hadn't been able to work off over the past 2 years.

I would spend hours longingly gawking over pictures of these stunning bikini competitors and fitness models, admiring their pristine physiques and envying their superior genetics. One day, while drowning my sorrows in more fitness pictures, I stumbled upon an album posted by (the incomparable) Jamie Eason entitled "Transformations" and was completely floored. All these brave souls posted their before and afters for the world to see...30, 40, 50 lb. weight-loss stories from people who started out way worse off then I ever was and ended up with these amazingly sculpted physiques. WOW...but HOW?!

This fascination motivated me to dig deeper, to read further into their stories, testimonials and uncover this "secret" that I had been oblivious to all these years. Had someone been holding out on me? I was determined to find out if this was actually real or, like everything else, too good to be true.

Well, turns out it's not a hoax, it's not a fad, it's not some myth or miracle pill being marketed to the masses...it is indeed, 100%, certifiably TRUE...and actually realistic and doable for "normal" people like me...EATING CLEAN.